


It was a Good Idea at the Time

by quipquest1



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Body Modification, F/F, F/M, Porn With Plot, Race-swap, Relationship Issues, Sexual Discovery, Troll Sex-Ed, Xeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:30:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quipquest1/pseuds/quipquest1
Summary: Vriska and Rose make a Race-Swap Machine and everybody wants to use it.





	1. Give me a Vagina (Vriska)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska has an odd request

“I’m going to skip the pleasantries. I need you to do something for me,” requested the bespectacled alien. Vriska had only organized this secret meeting with the stoic Rose Lalonde a couple of hours ago and Rose was already regretting having shown up. They had been regular acquaintances on the meteor, but never anything close to proper friends. Over the past couple years, everyone had softened to the idea of being casual with an admitted murderer. Well, technically most of them were murderers considering the piles of imp bodies that lined their paths, but it shouldn’t be undersold just how much more psychotic Vriska was compared to the rest of them.

“It must be something particularly tedious if you have to pass the buck off to someone else,” Rose quipped back. She wasn’t about to show all of her cards just yet before she knew the entire extent of the deal. “I mean, I could do it myself if I wanted to,” Vriska tried to assure her, “But you have more experience with the Alchemiter, so it would probably get done slightly faster than if I did it myself.” “The Alchemiter? Just what are we cooking?” bemused the blonde sorceress. “How good are you at complex machinery?” asked Vriska. Rose responded, “I made a mouse trap yesterday.” “ _HA_ ha,” Vriska fake laughed, “What else ya got?” “I’m assuming you’re interested in a quantum entanglement collider or something equally boastful to show off to your friends,” continued Rose.

“Is genetic manipulation off the table or not?” Vriska said in a slightly more agitated manner. Rose had to admit, she was totally lost, “What is this really about?” she asked. Vriska sighed, knowing she would have to spill the entire embarrassing story at this point. “Do you know about this film, Sleepaway Camp?” Vriska muttered. “Oh, thank goodness,” Rose mused, “For a second, I thought we were going somewhere with this conversation.” “Shut up, do you know anything about it?” Vriska verbally pushed back. “No,” responded Rose. “Well I didn’t either,” continued Vriska, “but I wish I had before because that piece of shit started this whole damn fuster-cluck. I was looking to broaden my expertise in Human culture, see a few movies that didn’t star the same guy every single time. Picked the first thing I saw not knowing any better and John went along with it. FYI, it’s really fucking boring.”

“You should start a blog,” Rose bluntly added.“But the worst part," Vriska continued, "Was right at the end when it gives the shittiest twist of all time. Nothing clever. Nothing interesting. It’s just that the killer was a chick with a dick. And the movie wants you to be _so impressed_ by it. I wasted an hour on that crap. And then John says, ‘Aw man, that’s freaky.” Suddenly, the pieces started fitting together for Rose. She was already crafting the narrative in her head about where exactly Vriska was going with this, but she let her finish all the same. “And I’m tired at this point, so I say, ‘The hell does that mean?’ and he says, ‘Well, I mean - that’s friggin' scary. It just looks freaky having a girl with a dick. Unnatural; gross. Like a Frankenstein monster.’ He called me a fucking monster!”

Vriska was trying to hold back her emotions, but some of her anxieties let slip. Rose tried to reassure her, “I’m sure he just didn’t know any better.” Vriska reigned herself in, “Yeah, I know. But it still probably confused him when I stomped him in the balls.” Rose guided Vriska over to a nearby tabletop for them to sit together. “You know where I’m coming from, right?” Vriska asked. “If you’re referring to the shape of your species' reproductive organs, then yes, Kanaya has taught me quite a lot about Troll anatomy,” answered Rose, “You’re afraid that he would mistake yours for a human phallus, correct?”

“I know it’s not the same thing, but he doesn’t know that,” explained Vriska. “Well, you could always have a talk with him about it like a normal couple,” Rose advised while also getting in a jab. “Didn’t you hear me? He can’t know. Ever!” Vriska continued, “If he even had a suspicion, it would ruin everything. All he'll be thinking about is me with a big flopper hanging between my legs. I don't think he'll she be as a girl anymore.” Vriska was not expecting this conversation would end with her gushing her feelings to Rose, and it pained her to think about how Rose was inevitably going to use all this information against her one day. Right now, though, she needed someone to vent to, “I like John, but I can tell that I’m fighting an uphill battle for his attention.”

“How so?” Asked Rose. “Oh come on, you can’t honestly tell me that John wouldn’t want a human girlfriend over an alien,” exclaimed Vriska. Rose continued, “You don’t give John enough credit.” “The point is I need you to alter my body so I come across as more…pleasing to him,” said Vriska. Rose chimed in, “You want me give you a castration?” Vriska jumped off her seat in shock, “God No! I just need to turn me human.” “Awwww, like the Little Mermaid,” Rose feigned romance, “Complete with all the sexist connotations.” “Rose, this is real life. Real life doesn’t have sexist connotations,” added the ever-wise Vriska, “Just people who want to screw other people. So will you do it or not?”

Rose placed a hand to her chin and puzzled, “I suppose it could be possible with enough trial-and-error. You want me to craft a race-bending machine capable of turning trolls into humans without any negative repercussions.” She threw up her arms, “I mean, hey, The Condesce couldn’t figure that out with a millennia of research, but what does a 900 year old witch know that I don’t? Let’s do this!” “Yes! That was exactly the answer I was looking for,” Vriska grinned maliciously while clenching her fist. Rose jumps off the table before putting her hand on Vriska’s shoulder assuringly, “I promise you, you will have your vagina yet.”

 

**VRISKA = > Be Future You**

 

It had been a week since Vriska commissioned Rose with their machine designed to spit in the face of God, and it was just about ready for use. The two had kept their work a secret from everyone else, some for more obvious reasons than others. Lord knows what would happen if this got out before they were able to finish it. Rose led Vriska to a large open room where the giant machine rest. “Forgive me, I couldn’t be bothered to find a sheet for the grand unveiling,” she joked. “Whatever, does it work?” asked Vriska. “Splendidly,” exclaimed Rose. “Of course, I did have to alter the process of transformation a bit to get the desired result, but it should still get you what you want.”

Vriska eyes up and down the contraption, it resembled a giant power transformer with various bits and bobs that did God knows what. Beside it on either side were two circular glass chambers that were linked to the transformer with giant tubing. Each chamber had a comfortable slab that was angled just down enough to not be perfectly vertical. The arm rests built in suggested that someone was meant to be positioned upright in those things. Besides that, the machine had a self-explanatory monitor and a console to do monitoring and consoley things. “So how exactly is this supposed to work?” asked Vriska. “Well, transforming your body from one species to another was too problematic. The biology was too incompatible to make a seamless transition, so I came up with a different method to work around it,” explained Rose. “Instead of changing your body, this machine creates a new body for you.”

Rose was in full mad scientist mode as she continued the tour, ”Once you step inside this chamber and rest on the slab, the machine will scan your current body, analyze your personality, evaluate everything that defined who you are, and construct a body cell by cell that is biologically human. The machine takes the acquired data and creates a template for the body to build towards, essentially acting as a mold for it.” “Wait, wait, if I’m in a new body, how will John recognize me?” asked Vriska. “You shouldn’t worry about that,” Rose continued, “The machine is programmed to recreate your facial structure, hair, and voice. The only thing I couldn’t find a way to control was the body’s ethnicity.”

“I’m guessing that’s another human word,” Vriska said starting to get exhausted by all the exposition. “Humans had several different races that mixed and lived together when our species still thrived,” lectured Rose, “It was much like your blood caste system.” “Fine, make me whatever “ethnicity” that equates to commanding Cobalt,” Vriska said with annoyance before switching to conviction when referring to her blood color. “I just told you,” Rose went on, “the machine is the one that takes into account your personality traits and creates an equivalent race for you based on that. It’s a form of racial coding.” There is an awkward pause in the room.

“That sounds kinda racist,” says Vriska. “Only casually racist,” Rose assured.

“Fine, let’s roll the dice. I’m feeling lucky,” Vriska says as she activated her “Thief of Light” powers while stepping into the chamber. She steps up to the slab and falls backward onto it, resting her arms comfortably on the outreaching planks. “They’re suppose to let you support your body from falling off the slab,” Rose explained over an intercom, “Get comfortable.” Vriska slacks her legs and let her arms carry her weight as the planks sure-enough helped keep her body from sliding down. Rose continued, “The machine should be calibrating you now.” The floor of Vriska’s chamber started glowing a warm blue as a 3D wire-frame was rendering in Rose’s monitor. The image formed skin and texture as Rose’s lips curled into a lascivious smile, “Impressive.” Vriska could already tell from that response she was going to get a good deal out of this. Rose pressed an ominous-looking button on the console and the empty chamber illuminated blue like Vriska’s.

It looked like nothing was happening until what looked like a pulsating tumor began growing on the slab. A meat blob that was growing in size like another one of those films John tried to get Vriska to see; Critters maybe? Yeah, it was probably Critters, like she could tell the difference. The meat blob materializes a layer of skin around it before rolling out like a deflated raft in a humanoid pattern. The pattern starts to inflate as a skeleton formed underneath the skin. Then pulsing organs, then blood, then muscle. It was only now that the body started to resemble Vriska in the face department. Indeed, Vriska’s luck blessed her chances as what came out was a fair skinned woman with not a hair or blemish on her. However, where her luck really shined came next as the muscle started to fill out the form. Based on how bold she was, the machine had determined that Vriska would have a body that matched her boldness. Her thighs were the width of her shoulders, her ass had a wonderful bounce while being too overblown, her breasts had inflated to DD size.

Yes, the machine is casually racist AND casually sexist.

The last step came when the body’s bald head started sprouting hairs that extending downward and perfectly recreated Vriska’s jet-black, shoulder-length mane. The body’s formation was complete. A newborn, 18 year old, human Vriska Serket. It started slowly breathing. While technically alive, it was more like a doll. A soulless husk. It’s eyes fluttered, the slumbering form permeating an aura of innocence that Vriska was more than willing to taint with what she intended to do with it. Vriska, looked over to see what the machine had created for her, immediately fell in love with it. Having been willowy herself, she got excited over the prospect of having a fuller body. Most everyone in her group of friends had been built more attractive then her in Vriska’s eyes. Kanaya had the largest bust out of all of them, followed by Aradia, Terezi, and Feferi. Heck, she was sure Equiss had larger knockers then she. Nepeta was the only girl smaller than her in stature and bust size, but with this new body, she would be able to shoot right to the top and match Kanaya on equal level.

“You really outdid yourself this time Lalonde,” Vriska congratulated. “Now that Phase 1 is complete, we can move on to Phase 2,” explained Rose. Vriska exclaimed, “Full speed ahead,” as Rose pushed another button, causing both chambers to glow green instead of blue. A thought suddenly popped in Vriska’s head, “Hey Lalonde, I just realized, you never explained how I’m suppose to get in thrrr-” Her head started getting woozy. It was getting harder to concentrate and form sentences, “I think thrrr’s somthin rong. Iz thr no ventalashun n hrr?”

Now Vriska was getting concerned. She tried to get off the slab, but she couldn’t find the strength to pry herself off. Even though she was consciously making an effort, it just wasn’t registering in her body. She was trapped. Meanwhile, the newly born body in the other chamber had been getting more antsy. It was fending something off in it’s sleep and growing more responsive while Vriska grew weaker. This was exactly how the machine was designed to work. It was to create a new host body, then transfer the soul from one to the other with the chamber linking the two. Vriska’s soul was literally being drained from one body and poured into the other one at the same time. It was this 1 to 1 response that Rose was searching for. She wanted to see the direct correlation of transference for study and having a struggling, uncertainty stricken Vriska provided the perfect subject. Yeah, it’s cruel, but Vriska would’ve done the same to Rose. Besides, her reward after this experience would be well worth it. Vriska’s body gave a last struggle of will before slumping over in the slab; lifeless. 

 ***GASP***  

The human Vriska sprang to life with a start. It took a second for reality to catch up to her. She had thought she was legitimately dying one second, and then woke up in a different position the next. Once she calmed down, she looked down at her naked body to find she was now inhabiting the human one she had seen across the way. She looked over to see her former host body in the chamber adjacent to her own; slumped over looking pathetic. Vriska found she was still heavy breathing, her new lungs filling with air like a newborn. The chamber door opened and extended a step leading to the floor. She cautiously stepped off the slab and onto the cold metal floor of the lab. Strange considering she had never found the floor cold on her feet before. “Stupid human skin isn’t nearly as thick as Trolls,” she thought.

*Pffffffffff* A party streamer blew in Vriska’s face. “Happy Birthday,” Rose said in monotone to emphasize her joke. Vriska swatted it out of her hand, “Very funny, Lalo…” The newly minted human touched her throat in surprise, “I really do have the same voice.” “I told you, it’s a body-swap machine that essentially makes you swap into yourself.” Vriska twisted around to check out her new curves, “Nice work, Lalonde.” She smacked her own ass and watched it bounce. Rose led Vriska to a mirror she had set up earlier, “I assume you want to check yourself out.” “Oh come on,” Vriska insisted, “Look at me and tell me this isn’t your finest work,” she said as she twirled around in a circle.

Her smug attitude slowly dripped away as she looked directly into the mirror and at her new face. It really was still her as a human. She knew that’s what she asked for, but it still didn’t resonate until just now. It was surreal to see her skin replace it’s grey tone with peach. She wasn’t sure if it looked good on her yet as she studied her flushed cheeks, chin, nose, and forehead. Her eyes still cascaded blue thank god, but that was the thing, they were just normal eyes. Two single pupils, not like the 7 she had grown accustomed to as a genetically privileged Blue Blood. She lowered her hand down south to inspect the one thing she wanted changed in the first place. Her nook looked the same as it always did, except...hang on. There was now this weird pimple placed at the top. Vriska tried popping it, but all new neural transmitters sent unfamiliar signals directly into her brain. Regardless of the peasant feelings it gave her, she stopping touching it immediately out of fear. She would just have to get use to this weird new alien genitalia.

Vriska raised a hand to the top of her head expecting her horns to be there and slightly panicked when she didn’t feel them. Like a limb that had been cut off, but the brain still perceives it as still being attached. Her muscle memory would be taking a hit after this. Not having them made her head feel lighter. More than that though, it felt like a piece of her very soul was lost; it felt wrong. Was this really what John wanted? What he thought was attractive? Did he even like her before? It doesn’t matter because he’s getting more than he could’ve ever dreamed for now. Vriska smooshed her new breasts together and marveled at how stacked she had become. With a killer rack and a dynamite butt, this was the body she deserved. “Shit, no wonder John is jerking off to these things all the time,” said Vriska. She marched back towards the chamber that held her lifeless troll body and opened the chamber. Vriska peeled her old body off the slab and let it rag-doll to the floor.

Rose was now watching Vriska proceed to strip her old body naked. “Um, why are you molesting yourself?” asked Rose. “Hey, I give myself full consent for what I’m doing,” explained Vriska, ”And besides, it’s not like she’s gonna use them.” Troll Vriska was now completely striped of all her modesty. Unashamed of changing next to another woman, Vriska slipped on her old panties and blue jeans. There came a problem when Vriska realized that her old bra was simply not going to cut it for new boobs. “Oh well,” Vriska said as she tossed it away, opting to go braless for the time being. The shirt was already tight enough around her chest without a bra before completing the set with her jacket. She waddled over to the mirror again in her too-tight jeans to check herself out again. It was clear that this was a job for Kanaya later. The seamstress had opted to be the tailor for everyone on the meteor and Vriska was determined to make her regret that decision. Even so, she couldn’t deny how sexy she looking in her old clothes.

“Now don’t go throwing those clothes away if they don’t fit,” Rose tried to explain, “I programmed the machine so that you can always transfer back to your old body whenever you like.” However, Rose’s science babble fell on deaf ears, “Whatever Lalonde, I gotta flaunt this shit in front of John’s face.” Vriska ran off in search of sexy exploits to get herself into with her ‘fresh out of the box’ body. This left Rose alone to ponder, “I wonder if she did enough research on how human sex is supposed to work.” She puzzled it for a second, “Nah, she’ll probably find out soon anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. This might go without saying, but this was my first fanfic. I hope I didn't sound too melodramatic or cringey. Please rate and review. I want to become a better writer, so please give me any criticism. Even the flames. I will not block anyone unless you are particularly unsportmen-like about it.
> 
> And don't worry, I have ideas about where to go with this story. None that I want to give away just in case I can't follow through on what I promise. But let's just say, that there won't be just one couple having fun with the machine. Additional Tags will be added when more character show up.


	2. Hit the Showers (John X Vriska)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Vriska have fun in the shower

**JOHN = > Pal Around**

 

John was paling around the meteor like the dope he is until he got a text from his phone. He recognized the number instantly and flipped open his phone.

_[ I’m t8king one of your human showers. You WILL 8e joining me ;;;;) ]_

Wait, could Vriska really be asking John what he thought she was? He looked back down at his phone.

_[ 8tw, using phones in the shower is a 8ad idea. You’ll 8e getting me a new one. ]_

Yep, she defiantly wanted John to get all splashy-splashy sexy-sexy with her. John could hardly believe it. The closest thing they’d gotten to that was that one time Vriska was teaching John how to teach charge in a relationship.

 

**JOHN == > Be Past You**

 

…And she did this by instructing him to grab her ass.

“What,” said a shocked John. “If you want something, you take it,” Vriska taught, “If you want my ass so badly, you have to stick your hands down my pants and fondle my buns.” Vriska turned around to allow John an opportunity to do just that. He would never admit it, but he always wanted to know what it was like to grab a girl’s bum. He slowly made his way to her behind. For Vriska, it took forever. Getting John to do anything risky was like swimming through quicksand. But sure enough, with enough patience, she felt his warm hands slide down the curve of her buttocks and rest on her cheeks. “While your technique needed work,” she said, “I am proud that you were able to correctly surmise the right method of attack. Simply patting me on the butt would’ve been an automatically fail.” 

“Why does everything have to be so calculated?”, he questioned. “Because you’ll never learn otherwise,” explained Vriska. John couldn’t have been more confused, “And why exactly are you teaching me how to molest women?” “John,” she sighed, “You can be so exhausting at times.” Vriska turned around to face him, forcing John’s hand out of her pants. She spoke, “I’m going to spell it out. You. Are. The. Best. This is not an exaggeration, this is a fact. And you wanna know how I know you’re the best? Because I am also the best. You have managed to single-handily do the impossible and impress me. There is no one in this entire multiverse who I would consider an intellectual equal other than you.”

“Now,” she continued, “instead of being threatened or spitefully jealous, I came to a swift conclusion.” Vriska latched her arm to John’s back and shoved their bodies together, “WE are the best. And we are the best because we test each other. I am not going to let my equal drop below my level because they caught a case of the stupids. You’re better than that, John. And I am never going to let you forget that.” John murmured, “Maybe I..did like that.” “Hmm?”, Vriska put a hand to her ear, goaded him on to speak. “I-I..liked..y-your….butt.” “What was that?”, she continued, ”I thought I heard something, but it couldn’t have been John Egbert.” John hit his boiling point, “YOU’RE REALLY SEXY,” he shouted before freezing stiff. He looked like he’d had a lemon enema. She could see the fear in his eyes. John made so much progress dangerously quick that the next thing she said could either make him embrace it or regress in shame. She decided to tease him, “How sexy?”

This was it, the die had been cast, the next move was John’s. Will he prove to be yet another Tavros in a long string of unsuccessful lovers or…

John’s arm swung in the vertical circle and landed right on Vriska’s ass. She gasped as he gripped the entire juicy cheek in his palm. His face never changed expression, like his body was still trapped in perpetual fear while his arm got to work for him. His arm was actually lifting Vriska’s off the ground a bit with how much he wanted it. This was the most romantic declaration of love she’d been given in her life, she could’ve sworn her heart was fluttering. He looked down and saw the warm satisfaction on her face. John was so glad that she immediately understood what he was saying. Until, “Oh crap,” he panicked, “I did it wrong. I did it wrong!” Snapping Vriska out of her spell, “What? What’s wrong?” John spoke, “I touched you in the wrong place.”

“I forgot to stick it down your pants,” he yelled as she rolled her eyes, “Oh crap! I fucked u-“ Vriska shut John the fuck up by mashing her lips into his. She breeched for air, “Quit overthinking it,” before diving right back into the sloppy make-out session.

 

**JOHN === > Get back to the “Plot”**

 

Holy shit, this was it. There were no maybes about it. Vriska wanted shower sex. John could hardly believe it. Every man’s fantasy was coming true for him. He charged down the hallway in glee towards where he would make sweet-slippery love to his badass girlfriend. He had to do it. He had been practicing to be more brave with his advances for months. He couldn’t let this opportunity slip him by. Not to mention he would be seeing her completely nude. Just thinking about all that wild hair, all that water streamed down her grey lady-bits sent John in a frenzy. This was incredible, especially since this would be the first time he's seen her since she kicked him in the nuts and stormed out of the room…….…wait.

Crap, maybe he was jumping to conclusions. She's obviously been avoiding him for a week. Maybe he was failing to read the room and was about to make a terrible mistake in judgement. Shit, of course she wasn’t in the mood for cuddling after that. She probably called him because she literally couldn’t get anyone else. “Wash my hair for me, slave,” echoed in his head as a worse-case scenario, “Oh, and don’t even think about perving on my body, you sick fuck.” John’s glee turned to dread at how terrible he must’ve been to her to justify that reaction. “I don’t even know what I said,” he thought, “But I still shouldn't leave her hanging. I'll never win her back by cowering anyway. I’ll just keep my expectations to a reasonable level.”

 

**JOHN ==== > Get wet**

 

Hold your horses. I’ve got, like, ten more pages of background details before we get to the smut. Fine, I guess we can skip to when he’s made it to the sauna. Oh yeah, the meteor has a sauna now. What with the massive amount of free time and unlimited access to reality-warping technology, the occupants got to work making their respective accommodations the most lavish, beautiful rooms imaginable. They were full of novelties and gimmicks that only unrestrained children would think were necessary. The sauna in question soon became more of an indoor waterpark after all the additions had been installed. It had a massive pool, a steam-room, three waterslides, several hot tubs, a river rapids ride, a mini-submarine, nighttime party settings for all of the above……aaaaaand a shower wing complete with five different cubicles for said showers.

John’s feet tapped down the tiled floor of the echoey “sauna” and made his way to the back where he could already hear the one shower stall in operation. He wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist for modesty. Since that “butt talk,” Vriska had insisted on John working out to gets some muscle on him and make him less squishy. Maybe it was living next to Equiss all her life that made her fascinated by abs. Regardless, John had made honest efforts, resulting in the fruits of his labor being his new “one-pack.” No flab anywhere, but certainly not the most defined specimen. No, where his true majesty lied was a special place that even Vriska has yet to witness. He never took the time to research how big he actually was, mostly because he automatically assumed that Dave’s was bigger. It wasn’t.

He entered the common room which held the five cubicles, each equipped with mosaic-glass sliding doors that made people look fuzzy from the outside. However, John could immediately tell which one was occupied based on the geyser of smoke billowing out the top. It was so foggy, he could barely make out her silhouette. “Vriska?”, John shouted to try and not alarm her. “Pfff, took you long enough,” she replied from behind the glass, “Now hurry up and get in here. We have a lot of…ground to cover” Vriska slid the door open a crack to give John the enticement to join her. She wanted him to come to her. John thought, “Aw crap, she’s waiting for me right in front of the door. I'm gonna see just how pissed off she is.” He sighed and walked over to the door, having accepted whatever fate awaits him on the other side.

John barely had enough time to slide the door open and process what he saw before Vriska grabbed him by the back of the head and shoved his face straight into her massive chest. John was inhaling tit. Clearly not Vriska’s tits. But this thing had Vriska’s face. What the hell was going on here? It took all of John’s willpower to resist the allure of her gigantic mounds and raise his head from her bosom. “Vri-mmhh“ His lips were silenced by Vriska’s own as she led him into the shower by the scruff. The towel around his waist was completely soaked, but still held fast. She rotated herself and John around so she could close the door without breaking lip contact. John grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away so he could finally get a word in.

“Seriously, what the hell happened?”, quested John. “What? I wanted to see you wet,” she said having dodged the big issue. He kept pressing, “And your horns?” “What horns?” “Exactly!” “John, it’s just a bit of harmless bio-engineering,” Vriska said as she turned away, “You’re acting like a grew a third ar-“ John grabbed Vriska’s wrist, prompting her to glance back at him and see his expression of concern, “I don’t see you for a week and the next time you show up, you look like _this_.” Vriska couldn't help but get pissed off all over again, “What about how I look?!” “YOU’VE CHANGED SPECIES! And you’re acting like it’s a haircut. I’m afraid, alright. I’m afraid for you.”

Vriska gave in, “Fine, between Kanaya, Karkat, and even you mentioning about how _oh-so_ great human girls were, I wanted to know what all the hub-bub was about.” “How did you do it?” “Rose made a machine.” "That makes sense,“ he said without an ounce of sarcasm, "And you did this only because you were curious?” “Well, maybe it wasn't the  _only_ reason,” she said as she spun in a circle. This was the first time John was able to truly marvel at Vriska’s naked body. She could put the goddess Aphrodite to shame. Vriska spoke again, “Look at these thighs and tell me they weren’t worth the effort to get them. They’re gorgeous.”

All John could do was nod in approval. “Touch them.” “What?” “Touch my thighs.” It only took a few seconds of internal squeeing before John took the initiative and squeezed. “Ooo, someone’s getting quicker on the draw,” she noted. His other arm soon followed suit and pinched her opposite thigh. He wanted to enjoy himself while exploring Vriska’s body. He clamped her flesh between his thumb and index fingers hard enough to admire the fat without hurting her. Neither noticed yet, but John’s member had begun to pitch an impressive tent in his damp towel. Vriska, meanwhile, felt like she was getting a deep tissue massage. Her body tingled from John’s touch as it kneeded her hips like bread dough. “You feel that too, right?”, she added, “My thighs were never that creamy before.” “Yeah, but I still think we should, you know, get clean while we’re here.”

“Oh, is that so?” she toyed, “Well, I regret to inform you that we only have one bar of soap.” She presented it in her hand, “If we want to be efficient about this, _we’re going to have to use our hands_.” That last phrase dripped with lust as she inched closer to him. Just then, it dawned on John that he was in the shower, and he still had a soaking wet towel around his waist. “Well, no use to keep this anymore,” he thought as he tossed it into the air, over the sliding door panel, and flopped onto the tile floor outside with a wet smack. Vriska’s eyes were drawn to the area John had just revealed, but she was not prepared for what she would find. The bar of soap fell from her hand as she found herself hypnotized at the sight John’s long member.

Her face blushed red as she crouches down to marvel at it. John watched as Vriska was practically drooling. “This is your…your…human phallus?”, she asked. He answered her question, “Yeah.” She responded, “It’s…making me feel things.” “Holy shit, is this really happening?”, thought John, “Is a girl really that impressed with my junk?” The current mess that was Vriska’s mind couldn’t make heads or tails of this. Her libido was out of control, to the point where her logical mind was acting as a separate personality in the back of her brain. “What is wrong with me?” She thought, “Why the hell am I making a fool of myself in front of John? This is ridiculous, I’ve seen human dicks before, I controlled myself then. Why is this one suddenly so different?”

Her thought process took a darker turn, “Is it because I’m a human now? Am I in heat or something? Is it human mating season and I wasn't told? Damn you Lalonde, what did you do to my brain chemistry?” On the outside, Vriska had made her way lower on John’s scrotum, “And these are your…testicles?”, her voice trembled. John responded again, “Yeah.” He could feel her heavy breathing on his hairless balls. She replied, “They look so…full.” They were full. John’s balls were quite heavy right now. All the excitement had made his baby-factories start pumping like never before. Vriska unconsciously rolled her tongue out of her mouth as he leaned closer to his balls. They looked just so..juicy. She couldn’t resist any longer. Vriska popped one of his balls into her mouth and started sucking.

John’s mind was on fire, “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Okay, John. Calm Down. Your girlfriend is officially sucking you off. This means you have done something very right. If only you knew what the hell it was.” Vriska’s mind on the other hand, “NO! STOP! Bad brain! I did not tell you to do that. I called John in here to tease him, not go this far. This is all his fault, waltzing in here with his big ass dong. What right does he have to be so damn sexy?” “Even so,” her mind wandered, “It’s not like he tastes bad or anything. It actually tastes… No No No, this stupid brain is making me think stupid things. John’s probably grossed out by me doing this. He must think I’m a perverted freak”

“This feels incredible,” John’s mind screamed, “I’m not sure how long I can keep this up.” John had started to feel weak at the knees and needed to lean against the shower wall to keep himself from falling. “I have to admit,” he continued thinking, “With a human body, Vriska doesn’t have any of those sharp teeth anymore. This couldn’t have been possible before now. And hey, she’s already down there, maybe I can ask her to...” John’s mind recoiled, “No, bad idea, do not push your luck. This feels amazing enough and I really want her to finish.” Vriska had popped the other testicle into her mouth and held both of them in her cheeks as she kept sucking. The build-up was just too much for John to bare, “Fuck It!” He thought, “I’m going to risk it all.” John spoke aloud, “H-Hey Vriska.” She immediately stopped sucking to look up at John with puppy-dog eyes. “Perhaps you could…bob your head up and down my shaft,” he hesitantly offered.

This was exactly the foothold Vriska needed to regain her sanity. John was now in the begging position and she had power over him. She let his balls flop out of her mouth, “You want me to drink your genetic material?”, she teased. John gave a gulp and said, “Yes.” “How much do you want it?”, she asked as she intentionally breathed on his cock. “Vriska,” he pleaded. “Beg for it,” the bitch was back in the saddle and she wasn’t going to let go of the reigns. She strutted with superiority, “I get dolled up and you have the audacity to make demands of me. John, you’re a pervert.” John caught onto her game and wasn’t going to it her win so easily, “Look who’s talking. You were the one who called me here in the first place. You’re the one who shoved their boobs in my face. If I’m a pervert, then so are you.”

Vriska was offended, “As if.” To prove his point, John simply flexes his cock, causing Vriska to unexpectedly gasp. “That’s not fair,” she pointed out. “Oh no,” he said as he proceeded to do it again. Vriska’s thighs were rubbing together, “Stop that!” John stands to his feet, “It takes two to tango, so why should only one of us admit to enjoying ourselves?” Vriska reflected on this, maybe she was being too selfish. After all, she started this whole turning human thing solely for John’s admiration. As much as she enjoyed watching John squeal, could it be possible that John had similar kinks? Did he also have a sadistic side that enjoyed seeing his partner shrivel in ecstasy. The pleasure of knowing you made your special someone have a mind-blowing orgasm.

That’s right, she made it clear they were equals. Not master and slave, they enjoyed each other. Selfish and kind tendencies mixed together at the same time. She wanted to let him know that he was amazing at this. That she felt she couldn’t have this with anyone else. She spoke, “Fine, but on one condition.” “Yeah?” he listened. “I don’t want you to hold anything back, and I don’t just mean from this bad boy,” she gestured to his dick, “I want to hear you breath and moan and scream my name as I make you pail your brains out.” John looked slightly confused. She concluded, “I want to hear you asking noise the entire time,” before she descended below his crotch. Suddenly, he went a slimy tongue on his taint as it traveled upward. Her tongue traced along the curvature of his large spheres and landing on the base of his cock. She kept going as he could feel it slowly slither up the length of his shaft, tempting him to blow right here and now.

She continued along the head and stopped at the peak, starring directly into his eyes. Her organ found it’s way to his urethra and starting tonguing it, never breaking eye-contact. She looked so hot. The tension mounted as a breathy, “Hooooo,” escaped his lips. This was the signal she was looking for as she widened her mouth. She hovered over his dick for a second before engulfing John all the way to his base in one big gulp. “Haaaaaa,” he moaned as his mind was on cloud 9. Vriska’s mouth felt amazing. Wet yet dry, but always constricting. John never thought blowjobs would feel like this. He placed his hand on her hair to get her attention. John couldn’t stop gasping for breath, “Okay…i’ll…cooperate.” The edges of Vriska’s mouth made a smile as she bobbed up and down his length.

At first, John was intentionally playing into Vriska’s demands. Overblowing his gasps and breaths to please her. Pretty soon, however, those gasps starting being more real for John. Was he just that good of an actor that he convinced himself, or was the overall atmosphere of “letting go” getting to him. He had to admit, being able to openly moan and not quietly masturbate was somehow amplifying his level of enjoyment. John couldn’t believe how much he was getting out of this as Vriska alternating between fast and slow deep-throating. He didn’t want to release just yet, thinking that it would be too soon. “I know Vriska told me not to hold back, but damn, I gotta hold back or else I’m gonna blow,” he thought.

By this point, John couldn’t even rely on the wall to prop him up and had to use the shower valves as armrests to keep himself upright. Vriska used her hands to spread John’s legs even wider to instill the inevitability of his incoming release. “Yeah, that’s right,” she thought, “You must be feeling _real_ helpless now. There’s nowhere for your seed to go but straight down my throat. Feed me your children!” The pitch of John’s moans were getting higher. He knew this was the end. “I..CAN’T…STOP…MYSELF….VRISKAAAwwwwwwwwww,” he screamed her name as his balls pumped all of their contents directly into Vriska’a stomach. He sounded like a deflating balloon as she gulped down every last drop of John’s essence.

Her pursed lips *POP* off his dick before wiping her mouth off. She gasps for air, "I know I told you not to hold back, but I wasn’t expected a four course meal.” John felt like he was a real man now. He just had a REAL blowjob from his REAL girlfriend. His pride inspired his strength as he suddenly lifted Vriska by the waist and carried her to a porcelain shower stool in the cubicle. “John, what the hell are you-” She began to ask before being seated. “Returning the favor,” John said as he gracefully leaned her back in a resting position like a prince. It became painfully clear what his intentions were as Vriska internally squeed. “He can’t be doing this?”, She thought with glee, “There’s no way he could be doing what I think he’s doing?”

Her prayers were answered as John’s face descended down her body and stopped and her crotch. “Eeeeeeee, YES! He is doing it! This is the best day ever,” she screamed in her head. John hadn’t really taken note of it before, but Vriska’s vagina was pristine; completely bald. All that teasing from John had caused her lips to become wet and flushed. John opened his mouth and lunged like a Cobra at Vriska’s nethers. He was going down on muff town. Unfortunately, he really didn’t know what he was doing and just assumed that randomly wiggling his tongue around would make something happen. It just felt awkward on Vriska’s end. She cleared her throat and John perked his chin up. “I appreciate your tenacity, but maybe you could you some better technique,” she advised. John asked, “Does that mean you want me to stop?” “Hell No!” She snapped back. “I mean,” she reigned herself in, “I just think maybe you should..explore a little more.” She spread her legs open more to allow John with more room to play around in.

“Explore?”, he thought, “Now I’m completely lost. I have no idea what I’m doing.” John tried following Vriska’s advise and poking random areas around her pelvis and watched her face for any reactions. When no response came, he started petting her vagina like a kitten. Coincidentally, John could’ve sworn he heard a purr coming from her. He gently stroked her vagina back-and-forth with the tips of his fingers like a paint brush, up and down, up and down. “Not bad for starters,” she claimed, “but don’t think I’ll be satisfied by just that.” John knew he had to do something out of box to impress her. Without stopping his hand, he independently began kissing her inner thigh and gently sucking. “What are you-” She started to ask before the sensation hit her brain. This was a strange feeling, while not unpleasant, that she’d never conceived of before. Humans are softer than trolls by default, maybe they were also more sensitive. John saw it working so he tried sucking other areas to see where she would be the most responsive.

John was working her in ways that seemed random, but felt very deliberate. Her inner thighs, her glutes, her pelvic bone, he kissed his way up her body without stopping his hand’s motions. However, he was now rubbing in a circular around her clit instead. She saw him kiss the way up her tummy and through the space between her breasts. Instead of meeting at her lips, he made for the back of her neck, and that made Vriska putty in his hands.She whimpered as John nippled on her collarbone. What was this and how had she not heard of it? In just a brief amount of time, John had moved from a novice to an artist. This sexy fool had impressed her yet again. It felt like pin pricks down her spine as her body tensed up. Her thighs instinctively seized back together around his hand.

He stopped. Vriska turned to him, afraid that he would stop before completion. “If I’m not allowed to close my legs, then neither are you,” commanded John, “It seems I’ll have to finish what I started.” John went back down to her labia, now even more swollen than before. Instead of rushing through like before, he lazily dragged his tongue along the rim of her vaginal lips. John proceeded to do this over and over again as he held her legs apart. Vriska couldn't help but moan. She was completely helpless against this alien savage who would not stop ravaging her. His tongue felt like sandpaper, just rough enough to cause friction at the best spots. She was so caught up in the moment that she wasn’t checking in on her own threshold.

One of her moans unexpectedly turned into a scream as she came all over John’s face. Was this the fabled premature ejaculation she’d heard about? How could she lower herself so? She felt embarrassed. John stole a kiss from her without wiping his mouth. Vriska now knew what she tasted like. She didn’t care, she was in the afterglow right now. What especially pleased her was how aware she was of the acoustics in the sauna. They had always been like an echo chamber, spreading noises far and wide, and it would seem that John had totally forgotten that. No doubt everyone heard everything that was going on it there, and he would have no way to feign innocence come morning. She wished she could be there for the moment when John would inevitably have to encounter Jade, his own sister, who was no doubt covering her sensitive dog ears with every moan he made.

Oh well, bold looked good on John, and anything that forced him to be bold was good for him. “Your species is intense,” she said on heavy breath, “I guess there’s an upside to humans being so soft.” “Still want me to suds you?”, he said presenting the bar of soap seemingly out of nowhere. He chuckled, “What? We still have to take our shower. Plus, I want an opportunity to play with those tits.” Vriska grinned, “Go to town.” John slathered his hands in soap before grabbing both breasts at once. He made sure to cover every corner of flesh as he watched them smack and flop. Vriska was happy that John loved her breasts, just as happy as she pleasantly surprised with John’s work. “John,” she asked, “Do humans grow more sensitive after they’ve pailed?” John answered, “I don’t think so, why?” “Because my nipples are turning into thumbs right now,” replied Vriska.

Sure enough, her nipples had become very erect. "Whatever your doing is working," she added. It would seem John also didn’t expect them to grow so big, as blood was rapidly returning to his penis at the sight. Vriska freaked out when she saw his engorged member again, ”Yaaaaaaow.” “What?” He said with concern. John thought something was seriously wrong before Vriska’s trembling hand pointed to his erection. “You’re hard again?!”, she trembled, "How are you hard again?!” “I don’t know, I just..am,” he confessed. “That should be impossible,” she reasoned. “Not really,” John explained, “it’s kind of like a second wind.” Vriska was perplexed, “A second wind? You have a name for that?” “Well, I’ve never had to use it before, myself,” John admitted. At that moment, a lightbulb went off in Vriska’s head. She leaned in, “If your species has a word for that, then that means it’s a common enough thing, right?” John replied, “Probably.” She continued, “Which means it is possible for your species to have multiple orgasms per day? Females too?”

“Sure, why? Trolls can’t?” John questioned, but Vriska was already on a one-track mind. Just now, she had planned the rest of the evening for her and John, and it would be spent entirely in bed. “Finish what you’re doing and follow me,” she instructed. “Huh?”, he responded. She yelled with force, “Finish cleaning me then get your ass out of the shower, John!”  He quickly and haphazardly hosed Vriska down with the shower head. “Okay that’s good enough,” Vriska said as she sprinted out of the cubicle. She ripped a bathrobe off the wall and hastily slipped into it. John was busy lamenting towards the floor at how his wet towel was unusable. He didn't bring any others, how was he going to make it out of here? Vriska grabbed his arm and pulled it with her, not caring what state John was in. “But my ding-a-ling,” insisted John. “Who cares!” She remarked as they dashed through the waterpark. Vriska kicked the sauna door open and raced into the halls outside.

 

“Aw, I thought I heard an atrocity in the bathroom,” said Karkat as they darted right past him, “Also why is Vriska an alien?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to Rate and Review.
> 
> Also, I, myself, am only a casual fan of Homestuck. I know enough about it to make in-jokes and respect the source material, but I am not going to bend over backwards to make my story fit the established canon of the series. Certain dead characters are still alive, characterizations are not 100% accurate, and I honestly like to play fast and loose with the technology.
> 
> I had one commenter commend me for having "light players act like light players." Honestly, I only remembered Vriska had luck powers on a whim. I only added it in because I thought it was funny for her to do and that it fit the story I wanted to tell. Please don't get too upset if I accidentally do something like write how the Sylladex works wrong.


	3. Sexy Dorks (John X Vriska, ??? )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska is about to get an unorthodox sexual education.

The echoey halls sounded the hasty footsteps of the excited lovers. Well, one was excited; the other had a painful erection slapping him in the stomach. Vriska might not have known humans all that well, but she knew how trolls worked. As it just so happened, Trolls only have one built-in “release” every 24 hours. Recreational pailing was an event that was carefully scheduled on Alternia. A young Vriska had spent many energetic nights pailing herself over thoughts of her gorgeous ancestor. However, with the added information that humans had none of that shit and can pail several times in one session sent her imagination soaring. ‘How can their sacks even make that much material?’, she thought to herself. Vriska finally saw a clear advantage that human biology had over trolls.

The two of them were fast approaching John’s door, the implications of which made John start to get cold feet. “Slow down,” John said as they stopped in front of the door, “We don’t need to do _everything_ tonight.” Vriska turned to face him, “John,” she said as she lovingly held his face, “Stop being a pussy and get in the bed.” She side-kicked the door down and with her mighty strength, she rag-dolls John over her shoulder and throws him onto the mattress. He crashed on the bedsprings before a gleeful Vriska leapt to join him. She straddled his member with her sex as she rips her bathrobe in twain, tossing the halves out of sight. Vriska had a manic glint in her eyes, looking more like a feral cat in heat as she continued to stroke John’s phallus with her lower lips. She lets up, not wanting John to expel his load too early, and her nimble fingers aim his cock into position below her dripping nethers. A new thought shoots through John’s mind as he urgently tried to warn her, “Vriska, wait!” She’s already in accelerated decent as his dick slides into the recesses of her vagina. With the speed and weight, there was no hope of stopping the head as it...

***RIPPPPPPP***

Vriska stopped immediately, frozen with fear and pain, she could tell something had gone horribly wrong. It felt like someone had stuck a knife in her, and they stabbed it in her most squishy, sensitive flesh. “YAAAAAAA,” she screamed in pain, “THIS FUCKING HURTS!” She retreated out from John and shivered at the foot of the bed. John tries to wrap his arms around her for comfort, but Vriska wrist-palms him in the face, “Get the fuck away from me!” He flies to the front of the bed as Vriska hastily checks the damages. Her groin area felt extremely sore to the touch as she pulled back and found her fingers were stained with droplets of blood. Any anger she felt rapidly turned into panic, “WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!”

John tried to calm her down, “Vriska, relax. Please, I think I can explain.” She turned to John, looking for the answer, but John never imagined he would play sex-ed teacher to his girlfriend. “When girls have their..first time,” he elaborated, “They have this..thing in the back of their…” It felt incredibly awkward for John to have to say this out loud, “…vagina. It’s basically a physical representation of their virginity. So when they ”do it,” it…tears.” Vriska became unnerved by that last line, like reacting to a paper cut description. “B-But it’s okay! It’s gone now, so…we should be fine,” John tried to end his lesson on a positive note. “So, it won’t hurt anymore?”, Vriska asked.

John was smart enough to know that was not the case. He stood in silence, no wanting to give the miserable answer, unfortunately, his silence was all the answer Vriska needed. “Goddammit, why can’t things just go the way I want them?”, she complained. “It should only hurt the first time,” John reiterated. “Well guess what, asshole. That’s right now!”, she raged, “I just wanted to bump uglies, why the hell does it always have to go wrong?” “Well, if you wanted to make out so badly, we could’ve done that at any time,” John tried reassuring her. “No, John. We couldn’t. It was…” Vriska picked her next words carefully, “Trolls and Humans can’t pail.”

John was confused, “But Rose and Kanaya do it all the time.” “That’s cause they’re weird," she stated, "No, biologically speaking, we’re incompatible.” “Oh,” John looks down solemnly, “How so?” “I’m not gonna draw a diagram,” she snapped. “Okay, okay. So…that means you did this..for me?”, he realized. “Yes John,” she confessed, “I did this for you. All I wanted to do was some of the stuff that other couples did. Hell, I’m pretty sure Karkat’s gotten to third base by now. And you’re just so HOT!” Hearing Vriska tell him that she found him sexually attractive out loud was quite the boost to John’s ego. “Well,” he blushed, “I thought you were pretty sexy, too.”

Uh Oh, now Vriska was the one blushing like a schoolgirl. If she were in her right mind, Vriska would die of embarrassment at how she was acting right now. He grabbed her hand, “I’ll admit, I was always curious, too. I wanted to..make love to a badass alien chick, but I forgot about all about hurting you. I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize for that! You were on a roll,” Vriska blurted out. A nagging feeling arose in the back of her mind, forcing her to do something she would never do anywhere else. “I’m sorrrr…I apolllllll…I didn’t mean to belt you in the face,” she finished quickly, “You didn’t deserve that.” “Did you just say you were sorry?”, John teased. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pissed,” she shot back. John felt bad, “Oh.” “Just not at you,” she replied. “Oh,” he said hopeful. “I’m mostly pissed at your species’ weak-ass vaginas. I mean, one thrust and you’ve broken skin,” ranted Vriska, “Come on! Talk about your pussy pussies.”

This was John’s moment to strike, “Maybe I could help take the pain off. Ease it a little” Vriska’s ears perked up, “Oh.” He leaned forward, getting intimately close, “Historically, if doctors didn’t have any anesthetic for their patients, they tried to distract them from the pain.” “And how did they do that?”, Vriska played along. “Sometimes with an distracting question, sometimes with a file to bite down, but other times…,” John’s right hand was lowering to Vriska’s groin, “..they would provide..sudden..stimulation..” Vriska was so focused on John’s right hand, that she didn’t notice where the left had was until it was too late. “..in unexpected ways!”

“TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE.”

“Ahhhhhhh,’ Vriska screamed in surprise as John’s left hand wiggled underneath her armpit and rapidly tickled with perfect precision. Her left arm seized up and locked in place in a vain attempt to stop John’s fingers. She was so concentrated that she failed to provide defense for her other armpit as John’s right hand lunged for that open weak-point. Now, both of her arms were stiff as the tickling sensation got worse and worse for her. This was a weakness that John had accidentally discovered within Vriska a while ago and he was very thankful that it carried over to her new body. “ASSSSHOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEE,” she squealed as his fingers now moved to her exposed sides. “Stop it, stop it. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you, you piece of shit,” giggled Vriska, only partially sincere about her claims.

She laid on her back and turtled up, rocking back and forth like a wiggler while John hovered above her. It was torture, but true to his word, Vriska had forgotten all about whatever pain she was feeling beforehand. Vriska mentally stepped back and realized that nothing was going to get done if she stayed on the defensive, and it’s not like opening her arms more would make things worse. Her arms loosened and counter-attacked with equal power on John’s armpits. “Eeeeeeeeeee!”, responded John. He had not anticipated this, he was completely defenseless to Vriska’s tactical strikes. All he could do was press the assault harder and pray that her strength failed first.

If a third party were to witness this display, they would think these two needed to be institutionalized, immediately. Two attractive, young adults acting like absolute children. Laughter filled the entire room as they traded insults back and forth. Both of their resolves were waning, but unfortunately for John, he slipped first when one of his arm’s wobbled and gave way, collapsing his body on top of Vriska. At the same time, she’d closed her eyes and braced for impact. She could tell by the squish that her breasts had acted as cushions and broke John’s fall. When she opened her eyes again, Vriska found that she and John were mere centimeters away from each other’s faces. They were so close, they feel the warm breath coming from their lips.

They became lost in each other’s eyes. John saw an endless ocean of deep blue while Vriska saw sparkling azure jewels. His lips inched forward torturously slow until they delicately connected. John could feel how moist her’s were on his, but didn’t dare push forward to enact a true kiss. He wanted to savor what she tasted like. Vriska’s heart was racing at the sheer display of intimacy. She simply closed her eyes, lied her head back, and let John take the wheel. Afterward, John couldn’t help himself but enact a true make-out session, gently at first, but slowly picking up in intensity. It was a full-on snog fest and Vriska had a front row seat. She was really getting into it until her body started bugging her again with a familiar throbbing sensation. The same one that gave her unnatural feeling of emptiness in her lower regions. It wouldn’t stop constricting, desperately trying to grab anything to quell it’s need to feel whole. Her vagina demanded to feel whole and it refused to be ignored. The throbbing got heavier and heavier, driving Vriska insane until she could take it no more. She pried her lips away from John’s to speak, “Fuck It. I’m pushing forward. I don’t care if it hurts.”

She rolled the two of them over so she’s on top again. “I’m just gonna..go slow for a little bit,” she timidly stated. However, instead of a full cowgirl position, she rested on John’s chest as she slid backward down his body like a otter until she found his unit. She aimed it true with her hand and allowed the tip to enter before she turned back to John. With a nod of approval, she slowly pushed herself backward onto his dick. This time, it felt way different for both of them. The soreness of losing her virginity, while still there, was worth it to get her vagina to shut up. Before then, it was whining, “Give me something to munch on. I need something to grip,” so metaphorically putting a sock in it was quite satisfying. It couldn’t talk because it was too busy choking on John’s huge cock. That’ll show it.

However, as the session went on, the soreness was fading away and being replaced by the fullness of John’s member. The feeling of tightness around his stiff rod, wringing it like a sponge, was something she never thought would feel so amazing. She could feel the contours and texture of every bump and vein that outlined his phallus as he grazed by. Vriska’s soft insides were being molded, forever shaped into the visage of John’s cock, claiming body from the inside out. For John, the sudden penetration from earlier was too shocking and gave little in the way of legitimate pleasure, so it felt like this was his true first time. He had never felt anything so undeniably breathtaking, not even Vriska’s blowjob could compare. The velvety folds of Vriska Serket were a marvel in and of themselves as they rubbed his cock up and down. He grabbed onto her butt cheeks to feel more of her soft flesh as she worked her magic. The feeling of a real woman felt like nothing else in John’s life, and he never wanted to let go. This was to be the woman who took molded him into a real man, and he would cherish her forever for it.

Vriska uncontrollably let out a small gasp, and that’s when both of them knew they were in harmony with each other. “You finally got a handle of this?”, John asked. She responded, “Yeah, this isn’t as hard as it looked.” “Good,” he said as he took Vriska by surprise and rolled her over so he’s on top. He grabs her by the shoulders and starts thrusting forward into her. “That..wasn’t..fair,” she says between thrusts. “I know,” he stated slyly. He was still trying to find his way around, so he briefly experimented with what speeds Vriska responded to the best. John found the right tempo with the long, savory strokes, but also found that he was most likely to cum if he kept that up for too long.

But It didn’t matter anymore, he would just have to deal. He wanted nothing more than to see Vriska moan in ecstasy from his male prowess. To know that it was he who took this woman to the heights of ecstasy and showed her just how much he could care for her. Vriska felt like she couldn’t hold on for much longer. This sex wizard had made a fool of her again as she felt the last of her fortitude drip away until…

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh~~!”

She wailed in loving rapture as the handsome boy kept thrusting. Her celebration was short lived as she made an astute observation. He hasn’t pailed yet. John had filled his mind with disgusting images for the sake of making sure his first time wasn’t premature. He refused to let Vriska down like that simple because he was too weak. John’s handiwork had a perverse effect of kickstarting Vriska’s genitals all over again before she even had time to wind down from the last one. The throbbing returned worse than ever, but now Vriska had a new goal in mind; make her boyfriend pail his brains out. However, in this position, she had little way of doing that

John had practically put her into a mating press and she was completely helpless to the magnificent member of Egbert. Her openings of attack were nowhere in sight. Any attempts to lift her arms for another tickle were utterly destroyed by the waves of passion crashing into her. Vriska searched her memory for anything useful in this situation. She recalled from an earlier conversation with Rose that there was only one way to get a boy’s attention in this position. Vriska extended her hand down to John’s thighs and scaled past them, making her way to his butt. She extended a single finger and shoved it up his butthole.

“YIPE!!!”

John arced backward in surprise as Vriska used the split second of confusion to her advantage. She pushed him backward onto the bed and pinned John yet again, towered over him in cowgirl position. “How could you?!?!”, he asked over-dramatically as if this were a huge betrayal of trust. With pride and joy she said, “Because no one’s a bigger bitch than me. Now stop holding back and give me your seed!” She rotated her hips on his dick before continuing the barrage of boinking. John tried to speak up, “Wait, hold up. I have to pull out. I’m gonna blow.” But she was having none of it, “I know. Let ‘er rip.” The great and mighty Vriska Serket had been brought down to the state of carnal madness. She wailed with her tongue hanging out, rocking back and forth on his dick, begging him to release.

Vriska was in her own world, “Yes! Yes! Shoot it. Shoot it down the pipe. I want to feel it inside me.” He continued, “I’m not sure how much longer I can last.” Vriska added, “Me neither. Just let it loose. Let it loose. Vriska would repeat this one phrase, “Let it loose. Let it loose,” to inspire John into doing just that. His girlfriend’s words affected him too well as he could now feel the event horizon approaching with no way to stop it anymore. The point of no return. Resigning to his fate, he let the feeling of Vriska’s insides take him away as he ejaculated all of his nut inside the beautiful woman.

They climaxed together as Vriska felt the telltale sign of John’s genetic material seeping it’s way into her folds. She pulled out and lay on her side, basking in the afterglow heightened by the wonderful warmth that rested in her womb. John panicked slightly, not having any form of contraceptive whatsoever. His mind raced with rationalizations that, maybe, because her body was new, she hadn’t actually ovulated yet and today was considered a “safe day.” He would have no choice but to accept this since the alternative was that he’d just made Vriska a mother. As amazing as that would be to become a father, it would be awkward to talk to anyone else on the meteor after that.

He turned to see Vriska in all her glory coming down from an orgasmic high. Her gigantic bosom swelled by and down with every breath as her skin glistened with sweat. She was a goddess with a flawless body, untouched by man until now. John tried to sit up, but Vriska placed an arm on his chest. “We’re not done yet,” she wheezed, “You’re staying here for a long time.” “Well, if that’s going to be the case, might I make a request,” he pitched. Coming down from her high, he said, “It is sportsmen like, sure.” He held Vriska’s shoulders and guided her to sit up alongside with him. Then, he turned her around, and with one hand, forced Vriska onto her hand and knees. “Oh, you want to do it froggy style, that’s cool,” she said, getting into the idea, “Go right ahead, but you must promise me one thing.” John was intrigued, “That is?” She stuck her butt high into the air with regal prowess, “Show me no mercy!”

It was impossible to say no to that ass. “Yes ma’am,” declared John as grabbed hold of her tiny, little waist and excitedly eased his dick into inside her. This was the most compromising position for Vriska, but she didn’t care. All she knew was that this felt amazing, especially since John wasn’t using the same approach as before. He would bash his cock in for a few thrusts, and then he would draw it out with some long, savory strokes, and then he would bash it back in. This alternation strategy had a decisive effect on the lady, she was happy to be rewarded for trusting for partner with so much power.

This continued until she felt a slight tingle with one specific thrust. It was unlike those before it. She could’ve sworn… *BASH* There it was again, like her very core with being prodded. Then she realized, John had made it all the way to her cervix. Or at least, that’s what she _would_ be thinking if she knew what it was called. John’s huge cock had completely filled the limit of her vagina’s capacity and was knocking on her baby door. Over and over again, he poked and pounded, sending shivers up her spine. He was balls deep. It felt to Vriska like John was born solely to be her perfect mate. The intensity built as she felt like he would be able to break through at any time.

John was long past the point of caring whether or not he came inside Vriska. He was damned either way be now. If Vriska wanted him to spill his contents throughout her insides, then who was he to deny her request. He was a gentleman after all, and a gentlemen is obligated to give the lady what she desires. “You ready for it?”, John sounded off to indicate that he was close. Vriska, meanwhile, had come up with a devilish plan, “Yeah, fire away.” His thrusts became more desperate to hasten his release while Vriska put herself into position for her masterwork. John lined up the shot for one last thrust, and Vriska moved forward herself, intending to rock backward onto his dick at the same time.

They both thrust into one another’s junk, turning John’s last thrust into a cervix piercing rapier lunge. His head popped out the other side and squirted directly into her womb. John howled as Vriska shouted, “Yeahhhhhhhh,” in delight. He was still unassuming of what exactly happened, but she was intimately aware that her plan went off perfectly. She stood up on her knees and wrapped her arms backward around both their heads without pulling out. Vriska pulled John into a deep kiss as he continued to pump load after load straight into her baby room. It was the most incredible moment of his life and he wanted it to last forever. Unfortunately, he may have gotten that wish when Vriska moved to his ear and whispered, “You’re stuck, bitch.”

“Huh?”, John tried to tug his penis out, but found that it was too jammed in. Vriska’s cervix had closed around the head of his penis and kept him firmly in place. He tried over and over to pull out to no avail. “Sorry John, you’re just too thick for your own good,” she teased as she pivoted on his dick to face him head-on, “I guess you just have no choice but to continue making love to me.” “You witch,” he half-hardily insulted. She responded, “You know it, babe.” John immediately pinned her down and got to work. The two lovers would continue this back and forth power-play for the next couple hours. Different positions and various techniques were implemented as both of them smashed their limits several times by the end.

Finally, John was able to unsheathe his knob out of her floppy cooch. They were absolutely exhausted, both of them sounded like they just got done running a marathon. “That was...Holy shit!” moaned Vriska. John turned to look at the clock on his bedside table, “Shit, it’s 3AM, no wonder I feel terrible.” “Well, I guess it’s time we got some sleep,” she regretfully said as she departed the bed on shaky legs. She wobbled her way over to where her recuperacoon lay in John’s bed. Naturally, the two of them had been sleeping in the same room even though their biologies forced them to sleep in separate beds. When they became an official couple Vriska had her recuperacoonmoved in next to John’s so they could hold hand while they slept at the very least. Over the past week, Vriska had been sharing a bed slime cocoon with Terezi, leaving John feeling like the room was empty since she disappeared.

However, the altered state of Vriska made her more loopy and unable to realize the obvious until, “Hey, fuck this thing,” she declared, kicking the cocoon out of spite, “I don’t need it anymore. I’m human, I’m sleeping in my boyfriend’s bed.” Vriska gleefully jumped back into John’s bed and rolled the warm blankets snuggly around herself and John. He was ecstatic that this was their finally opportunity to sleep together. To feel her warm body against his as they protected each other during their dreams. He instinctually wrapped his arms around her body and held tight. She felt so soft to John as he nuzzled his head into her massive, wavy hair. Vriska heard John’s heartbeat as she laid her head on his chest.

The two of them finally allowed sleep to take them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**KANAYA = > Enjoy your new Troll wife**

It was the middle of the night before Kanaya had finally gotten back from her studio. Whenever she was in the zone, she couldn’t stop until she finished her work no matter what. What she did not expect was the sight beholden that lay on the bed. Her nude wife spread eagle with a massive, purple bonebulge spiraling between her legs. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come in,” teased Rose. Kanaya rubbed her eyes to see if see was seeing this right, before her was the newly grey skinned, purple blooded, long horned, goddess known as Rose Lalonde.

Did you really think Rose was only going to let Vriska use the machine? The first thing Rose did as soon as Vriska left was prep the machine for solo use. Dumping Vriska’s lifeless Troll body out the way, she made herself a beautiful new Troll body for the purpose of making love to her wife in a way that only she could appreciate. Perhaps most unbecoming was Kanaya's behavior as eyes watched as Rose’s elegant appendage wave back and forth hypnotically. Her mouth lay agape as droll began to spill out from it. “You seem transfixed,” Rose continued toying, Kanaya shook her head to regain sanity, “What happened?!”, she demanded. "Are you surprised?", Rose asked. Kayana regained herself, "More concerned that you believe transforming yourself into an admittedly charming specimen is what's needed to make our relationship interesting at this state." Rose chuckled, "Please don't worry yourself. I simply wished to give you a novel experience." "Quite the novel it is," said Kanaya. Despite her graceful demeanor, Rose could tell Kanaya was busy unsheathing her bone-bulge beneath her long, red skirt just by the look on her face.

Rose spoke, "Please, allow me to get that." She willed her long, purple bone-bulge to extend to the rim of Kanaya's skirt and fiddle with it. Rose worked it like a lock pick until the entire fabric fell to the floor, revealing her wife's glorious green appendage. Her slimy tentacle led Kanaya by her the genitalia to the bed where Rose began undoing her top. "You seem quite skilled with the tool already," Kanaya hastily said while her shirt was flipped over her horns. "That's because my teacher was so skilled," Rose responded. Kanaya couldn't help but look away and blush like a schoolgirl. Rose closed the distance and lovingly pressed her lips to Kanaya's. She snaked her arm around Kanaya's back and slowly leaned her backward on the bed before embracing. Rose pressed her breasts against Kanaya's larger ones as their bone-bulges mingled and danced. She continued, "But I feel I could use more lessons." Her playful tone flipped to that of a wondrous child, "Please Mrs. Lalonde, teach me how to be phal-dexterous." Kanaya could tell the game she was playing and responded with the air of a master, "My child..........Fuck it," she gave up half-way and grabbed her wife's head while slamming their lips together. She rolled over and they both became lost in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to Rate and Review. This one took a while to come out because of me constantly re-writing it. Trust me, the original was much more depressing. This version is better.
> 
> I'm hoping to shift the focus onto another couple on the meteor, but it won't be Rose X Kanaya. No offense to those fans, they are an amazing couple, but I have something else in mind. Maybe I've write a scene with them later.
> 
> Hey, here's an idea, maybe you guys could give me some ideas about what the human trolls' ethnicities should be? I have some ideas of my own, but I'd be more than willing to change them if you present a better idea. Again, I'm not interested in racial politics, it is purely aesthetic.


	4. Working on Both Ends (John X Vriska)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska has to deal with the morning after while another denizen of the meteor has to deal with Vriska

**JOHN = > Awaken**

 

John unexpectedly woke from his slumber just in time for his body to hate him for doing so. Turns out, getting only 4 hours of sleep leaves you in an extremely unpleasant state of mind. Reality shifts in and out as he tries to piece together what’s real and what was still the dream. The urge to dive back to sleep, if only for a few more minutes, was overwhelming. But it seemed his body knew something his brain didn’t and forced John to wake early to take in a most glorious sight. This was definitely not the position he went to sleep in, but somehow, through their tossing and turning, John had found his face snug deep in Vriska’s giant cleavage.

She was still lost in her dreams as her massive chest heaved against John’s rosy cheeks. Her arms had wrapped themselves around his head like a face-hugger, leaving him little chance of escape. John, however, was a-okay with being Vriska’s teddy bear so long as he could remain in this one spot forever. She softly wheezed in her sleep, looking more like an angel in John’s eyes than the insatiable goddess he found himself with last night. John rubbed his face deeper into her globes before getting an extra hour or four of sleep. To him, this was the perfect place to rest in.

 

**JOHN == > Who said you could go back to sleep. Get your ass up!**

 

I’m afraid John is far too out of it to meet such a demand. He proceeds to happily sleep in Vriska’s bosom for another 4 hours. After his extra slumber time, he was far more refreshed this time. The artificial sun system alarm clock blinded John as his eyes lazily crept open for the new day. Still feeling her meaty arms around him, he raised his head in hope that the angel still remained. When he gazed up, however, there was absolutely no head there. Upon further inspection, the things he thought were arms were actually legs. And instead of her wonderful breasts, John found that his nose tickling Vriska’s cunt.

The dexterous woman had managed to completely 180° herself and wrap her sizable thighs around his head. Her pristine vagina was right in John’s face as she continued to sleep. Just as his face was in her crotch, Vriska’s mouth was inches away from his dick. She slowly exhaled hot breath on his foreskin, her most lips agonizingly close to touching it. What he wouldn’t give for her tongue to extend right now and sleep-blow him. Most perfect of all, she was completely oblivious to unintentionally creating this miracle. ’Hang on,’ thought a suddenly skeptical John. He tried moving his head out of her thighs, only to find them constrict tighter around his head, keeping him exactly in place. John tried pushing harder, but it soon became obvious that she was faking.

“Okay, knock it off,” John said aloud. Vriska’s gentle breathing turned to intentionally obnoxious snoring. *SNORE* “So sleepy,” she whispered aloud, *SNORE* “Couldn’t hear you even if I wanted to.” *SNORE* He spoke up in a sardonic tone, “Oh really?” Instead of fighting his new position, he accepted the challenge presented to him. John smirked, “Are you sure you don’t want to wake up?”, before he scrapping his tongue up the entire length of her vulva. “Awwwwh, pretty sure,” she trembled. This was wonderful for Vriska, well worth the time it took for her to slowly reposition herself without waking him, and then patiently waiting for him to wake on his own. She was feeling generous and opted against fighting any moans that wished to escape her throat. John was going to get the full compliment treatment. Of course, that doesn’t mean she couldn’t have a little fun. “Oh, Mr. Cage!”, she exhaled in her “sleep.”

He stopped, “What?!” Vriska was having a wet dream without him, bullshit! “You’re so much better than _JOHN EGBERT_ ,” she emphasized. Vriska had raised the pot, and now it was John’s turn to add to this role-play. He repositioned himself so they were right-side up, “You’re mind may be a traitorous whore, but your body still remembers who it loves,” and he slid his dick inside her. Now the role-play was that John was raping Vriska while she’s asleep and fantasizing another man. (Remember kids, having sexual fetishes and fantasies do not mean you condone it in real life. Unless it’s child pornography, that is never okay.) John was too far deep into the scenario to question it’s morality right now, and Vriska was totally into it, so who cares. She added on, “But you’re an Academy Award winning actor and I’m just a pirate queen.”

Completely cleared of all that pesky virginity stuff from last night, she felt liberated to be able to bump uglies however she wanted. Especially with someone who wasn’t afraid to get questionably raunchy in bed. She was on the edge, “Yes! Yes! Give it to me. Give it to me! I want your children!” “Children?”, he questioned, “You adulterous slut, I’m afraid your going to have to settle for baring _my_ seed.” He was ready to blow inside her. She had to admit, there was a thrill to having sex with your eyes closed. Being unable to see when each thrust will happen, unable to brace for impact, like a roller coaster in the dark. Her orgasms came in waves and crashes before John finally busted his nut. Vriska felt the warmth shoot into her body like a spastic fire hose.

“My hand may belong to my idiot boyfriend, but my body will always be true to you, Mr. Cage” she glowed. John pulled out before gently slapping her face. She pretended to be startled awake, “John, I was having the most wonderful dream.” He feigned ignorance, “Was I in it?” “It’s hard to remember,” she responded before cupping his scrotum, “Although there was definitely a sense of familiarity to it.” John shyly intervened, “Was I swearing too much?” “Babe,” she hugged him sweetly, “Around me, nothing is off limits.” Out of all the things she could’ve called him, John thought “Babe” was the most flattering. He couldn’t help but put his arm around her shoulder, “I love you too, Vris.”

This turned out better than Vriska could’ve ever hoped. All of her previous romantic relationships had ended horribly, and while everyone was getting married and/or laid, she remained the eternal virgin. So her scoring an actual boyfriend was great enough, this was just an added bonus. Admittedly, most of those bad relationships were her own damn fault. She was known as the bitch queen for a reason, constantly acting smug and superior. Not to mention all the maiming, but everyone on Alternia did that. Surprisingly, where most just saw ego, John saw confidence, and confidence was super attractive to him.

Usually attraction was a one-sided relationship for Vriska, having someone find her genuinely hot was a novel concept for her. Not only that, but she found him hot as well. The dork with the thick glasses surprisingly has the biggest set of balls she’d ever seen, not literally of course. Just like John, she found confidence to be quite attractive in a man. Many of her flames she would try to “mold” into her ideal partner, but John can pre-packaged. Anything that she wanted to lecture him on, he didn’t turn her away. Not because he was a doormat, but because he just liked seeing her happy. He understood that it was hard for her to properly convey her emotions and accepted her for it. She was Vriska Serket, the jeans-wearing badass alien with rockstar hair and wicked grin, and he wanted to have that woman every night from now on.

“So, is this only a one-night thing,” John prodded, “Cause I really wanted to..” “Oh no,” she clarified, “We’re gonna be fucking non-stop from here on out.” “Hooray!”, he celebrated. “But first things first,” she said as she bounced off the bed, “I’m hungry. I’m off to get breakfast.” John said regretfully, “Now that you mention it, Dave did say he wanted to show me something today.” Not exactly admiring Strider, she still let John have his fun without her, “Go on, see what cool kid has _this_ time.” John put on his day clothes and stepped outside his bedroom. A still naked Vriska snuck up behind him and whispered in his ear, “See ya tonight,” before nibbling his ear. John mentally skipped down the hall with glee as he made his way.

Now alone, Vriska finally notices a big problem. ‘Shit, I left my clothes back at the shower,’ she thought, ‘And I dramatically tope my bathrobe in half, I can’t wear that.’ Vriska was a slob, mostly wearing the same clothes for days until the smell became unbearable. With no other choice, she went through her personal closet she had set up when moved in with John. ‘Although,’ she got an idea, ‘I feel like celebrating a bit,’ and by celebrate, she meant make a statement. A statement that said “We just fucked, deal with it.” If she remembered the “human culture” John showed her correctly, wearing your partner’s clothes was visual short-hand that you had sex with that person. Also, she found it super trashy, which was hot.

John’s closet was full of shirts and outfits that Kanaya had made for him over the years that he only wore once. Most of it was too flashy for what she was going for. She found a loose blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans to complete her ensemble of smut. No wait! Better idea. Keep the jeans off and just parade around in her panties. That way, she could imply she was being super casual about the affair while also showing off her thighs. Excellent. Vriska ruffled her hair to look as messy as possible, like last night was the wildest night of her life. Which it was by default. She stepped in front of John’s mirror. YES! She was the definition of hot trash.

One thing was still uncertain though. She hadn’t looked at her face since the first time she was “born,” it still looked off to her. It suddenly hit her why, it wasn’t the skin tone messing her up, it was the lack of glasses. Despite the machine merging her seven pupils into a single human iris, this did not fix her vision that much. She still needed those glasses for her near-sightedness. At the time, she had too many plans on her mind to think about that, but now she wondered if having glasses at all would make her look more or less attractive. She had to know. Vriska walked down the halls and back to the machine where her old body laid. Someone had moved it sightly out of the way since she last saw it, but Vriska found what she was looking for all the same. Those spectacles were still glued to Troll Vriska’s comatose face. She swiped them and made her way back to the mirror.

Vriska alternated between poses and states of glasses-on and off to see which looked sexier. Admitting defeat, she reasoned that being able to she was still worth it for slightly reduced hotness points, placing them on. Her hips bounced his each step down the hall. ‘That’s right,’ she remembered, ‘Nobody knows about my new body yet, do they?’ This would be the perfect opportunity to show off not only her bodily improvements, but to declare to everyone on the meteor that Vriska Serket was a virgin no longer. She could hardly contain herself as she entered the dining room.

It was a reasonably lavish room with a table large enough to accommodate most of the meteor’s inhabitants at the same time. A few meters away was a kitchen set-up that circumferenced the main table in a semi-circle. Over the years, the residents had included several different additions to the kitchen such as a blender that can make an edible smoothie out of anything (Note: Edible does not mean it tastes good). Other doodads included a cotton candy machine, a tap for every soda in the known universe, a trans-dimensional cooker which could appearify meat of any animal extinct or otherwise (Although most, if not all animals are extinct with earth being an eternal desert), and a cone of silence in response to a specific incident at the table where Karkat wouldn’t shut the fuck up. There was also a fridge. Said fridge acted like any other fridge as Vriska opened it and pulled out a carton of Orange Juice. Chugging it down like a champ, she moved on to the toaster.

Even now, she could tell her new tastebuds were reacting much better to human food than her troll tongue did. Maybe all those dishes she scoffed at before would turn out differently. Bread was first on the list for the taste-test. She sat down at the table with the finished piece of toast on a plate. Vriska braced herself for whatever new flavor would emerge from the previously bitter wheat product. The first bite was crunchy, but at the same time, a little soggy. With her second bite, she tried savoring the soggy part, only to find that butter was actually succulent in her mouth. She bit down a third time and got the same fantastic result as the second. An entire cornucopia of possibilities opened up in her mind; cake, cheese, molasses, bananas, raspberries. Was all that shit good all along and her mouth was just too stupid to accept it? Even the orange juice from earlier had a sweeter tang then what she was accustomed to. The collideoscope of ideas completely blind sided her to the hand fast approaching her rear end.

 

***SMACK***

 

The hand sent ripples along Vriska’s fine ass. She knew that there was only one other person besides her who would slap an ass like that. “Smells like somebody just got laid,” teased the snake-like raspy voice of Terezi Pyrope. Her fellow Scourge Sister circled around to look(?) her in the face. “Although, I never thought of you as a playa,” continued Terezi, “And with your own brother no less.” “What?!”, responded Vriska, genuinely not knowing what the fuck she was talking about. “Vriska?!”, Terezi exclaimed in shock and confusion, “Why the fuck do you smell like Jade?” “Smell like Jade?,” sad an equally confused Vriska, “I smell like me, dumbass.” “No you don’t. You smell red,” accused the blind troll, “And since I don’t smell any Kanaya on you, why wouldn’t I think you were the only other human girl on there meteor?”

Vriska remembered that Terezi told people apart by smell. On account of being visually impaired, Terezi learned to decipher who someone was by their blood color and what general smells they had on them. She smelt like Jade? Vriska wasn’t sure if that was an insult or not. “Well it’s nice to know you can still recognize your best friend at the end of the day,” Vriska said sardonically. Terezi pressed further, “What are you even doing with the wrong blood color?” Vriska flatly admitted, “Rose made a machine.” “Oh, that makes sense…except for the question of why,” she objected.

The accused playfully answered, “You can’t take a wild guess?” Terezi stood there with a bewildered expression, flatlined. Vriska had gotten annoyed by now that she had to spell out everything to her, “I’m human. The machine turned me into a human.” Terezi simply raised an eyebrow to convey her prolonged confusion. Vriska was at the end of her rope, “..To Fuck John. I turned myself into a human to fuck John.” “Why couldn’t you fuck John before?”, she questioned. “It doesn’t matter because, as of last night, I don’t need to worry about that precious V-Card ever again, ” Vriska smugly showboated. More interesting questions surfaced, “So how big is he?” “Hung like a horse,” she said proudly. “That’s so romantic,” Terezi drooled. “I know, right?”, added Vriska.

Terezi pulled out a chair to the left of Vriska and sat in it backwards, fully entrenched in the story, “Tell me more. What is it like in the master bedroom of John Egbert?” “Well..”, Before she could continue, Vriska’s spider sense went off, and it was coming from exactly 90° to the right. Terezi took a sniff, *SNIFF* *SNIFF*, “Oh hey Jade, we were just talking about you.” Vriska turned to see a bespectacled, buck-toothed, dog-eared dork glaringly at her with a stone-cold stare. Her glasses didn’t hide the fact that she had heavy bags under her eyes. “You went all night,” Jade said while emphasizing every word, “I heard _everything_. I couldn’t get any _sleep_.”

“Oh yeah, I did forget to close the door, didn’t I?”, said Vriska feigning sympathy, “Sorry not sorry.” Jade stomped to the opposite end of the table and slammed her hands down, “It was fucking GROSS.” “Oh, trust me. I made sure he only came inside me. It wasn’t messy in the slightest,” she bounced back. ”Ehhh-aaaaahhh!”, whined Jade as she tried to cover her doggy ears, “I don’t want to hear it.” Terezi could tell this conversation was going off the rails and attempt to play the mediator, “Would you like something to eat?” Jade slumped in her chair, brooding, “Eggs would be fine.” “Sure,” she walked with her cane to the kitchen top, “Are you into bacon bacon or T-Rex bacon today?” “Bacon bacon s’okay,” Jade continued to sulk. It might surprising to know that Terezi was actually a decent cook, something to do with her heightened senses being perfect for the job.

Vriska kicked her dainty feet up on the table and pulled out her phone. She tapped away as Jade continues to stare at her in frustration. Terezi may not have been able to see the difference, but Jade could, and she was not happy. She had overheard most of the conversation between the sisters from behind the wall and understood that Vriska how she was granted this gorgeous form, and boy was it gorgeous. Even though Jade would never say it aloud, but there was always a prideful side of her that relished in the fact that she was the bustiest human alive. A plump D and a booty to match, the same as Kanaya, but Vriska basically smashed through that ceiling overnight. Dammit, she grew her’s naturally, no space powers whatsoever, but then here comes spider-bitch, and she just cheats her way to the top. Jade was extremely jealous of Vriska’s body and her larger bust size.

 

**VRISKA = > Wasn’t your phone damaged by the shower in Chapter 2**

 

Yeah it was, but Jade didn’t know that. Vriska was tapping away on a blank screen, pretending to be busy, while also basking in the hatred Jade was lobbing her way. Jade’s green eyes shined their brightest envy as she sized her up, and Vriska was loving the irony of the sweetest girl devolving into a jealous mess. Terezi returned with the eggs and placed them in front of Jade. She scarfed them down without taking her eyes away. The blind troll was about to make more for herself when she stopped mid-step, smelling a foreboding purple waltzing down the hall.

Her hand shook, as she could only think of one person it could possibly be. Even worse, she could now smell the figure caked in Kanaya’s smell and assumed the worst had happened. Terzi couldn’t help but imagine the horrid act of violence that just took place in the next room, and now he was coming to finish off the rest of her friends. She turned and readied her sword cane for whatever that insane clown pussy could throw at them. Vriska and Jade were offset by Terezi’s tonal shift and looked to where the footsteps were coming from. Everyone became tense as the figure stepped out from behind the corner.

“Apologizes,” said Rose clad in a morning robe, “I was little late to rise.” Terezi immediately snapped, “Gamzee stole Rose’s voice, you monster!” “Calm your tits, it’s just Lalonde,” Vriska said, annoyed by the false alarm. “You sure that’s not him?”, she fearfully asked. “Am I sure that’s not the idiot who’s long since dead?”, Vriska was in a particularly bitchy mood right now, “You know what, I didn’t consider that. I’ll turn back and double ch- Oh look, it’s not him.” “Yeah, but…zombie Gamzee,” she insisted to hide the fact that she was saving face. Nobody was buying it. “What did you do to yourself, Rose?”, asked Jade. “Obviously she used the machine,” she condescended, “Fuck, it feels like everyone’s two pages behind me.” Feeling a tad guilty for causing this, Rose interjected, “I didn’t mean to make such a commotion, perhaps if I stayed further away to make you feel more comfortable, Terezi.” “Nah, it’s cool,” she said, trying to salvage her dignity, “Let’s just pretend this never happened.”

Rose sat to Jade’s left despite her friend still harping on the issue, “But Rose is a Troll. Isn’t that a big deal?” ”Only in that I never told you you could use that machine without my permission,” snapped Vriska. “Oh please, I never had any intention of keeping it’s use under sole possession,” Rose fought back, “Anyone can use it if they wanted to from now on.” Vriska turned to Terezi, “Hey, it grew my arm back, maybe it’ll fix your eyes.” “Go fuck yourself, Vriska,” she said plainly. “Don’t need to, I got a boyfriend to do it for me,” said Vriska as she lifted her head with pride. However, she didn’t hear a audible “Ugh” from Jade like she was expecting, so she gazed over the table to see if her dig even registered.

Turns out, Jade was far too fascinated by Rose to have even heard Vriska. Perhaps she was even starring a bit too long, “Carful Harley,” Vriska called, “She’s taken, you know.” Jade was startled out of her daze to realize what she was doing was quite rude, she apologized. Rose, however, found her gaze a little flattering, “Is something the matter?”, she teased. “Maybe, I just..”, she tried to explain, “Your horns are so beautiful.” Rose raised her hand to the top of her head, she hadn’t really had time to inspect and marvel at her unique design. They resembled goat horns trailing downward from her scalp in an S-curve almost like pigtails. “You can touch them if you’d like,” she offered, “I don’t mind.” Vriska bolted her hands to her mouth to keep from laughing.

Jade was too embarrassed to respond with anything other than “I..I..” “I’ll take you up on that offer,” Terezi said as she waddled from the other side of the room. She positioned herself on Rose’s left side and gripped the adjacent horn like a handle. Since Rose had a brand new appearance, it would be handy for Terezi to get a feel of what her face profile was shaped like. The horns had a ringed texture that trailed all the way to the tip, unfortunately reminding her too much of her last purple-blooded companion. She still kept a stoic face as she chose not to put it against Rose. “Well, I guess if it’s not too weird now,” Jade observed before hesitantly inspecting Rose’s right horn. Vriska couldn’t believe the shit-show she was witnessing; it was a goddamn petting zoo in here. She got these boobs to show-off, dammit, and now Rose is soaking up all the attention.

Something had to be done to get all eyes back on her. Or at least make things awkward to make these two chuckleheads felt ashamed enough to stop. Luckily, no one knows more about troll biology than a troll itself. Vriska pointed out, “You got yourself quite a harem going. You’ve already started getting those urges, huh?” Rose and Jade turned to her with genuine confusion while Terezi looked to her with a “Don’t you fucking dare” face. “Oh, did Kanaya not tell you?”, she continued, “Polagmy is a deep-seeded instinct in all trolls. I’m sure your wife would love to add two more in the bedroom, if she hasn’t already had some “backroom dealings” without your knowledge.”

At this point, Jade had it to here with this bitch’s attitude. Now she was attacking her friends; this will not stand. She mustered up the nerve to betray her nature and fight back with the meanest, nastiest thing she could think of. “You’re lucky enough to have one person in your bed,” snapped Jade, “Hell, you had 0 until just last night.” The tennis match had begun, Vriska brushed it off, pretending she was unfazed, “Please, I had Kanaya wrapped around my finger for years. I could’ve had her any time I wanted.” “Wrong,” she objected, “She dumped you because you’re a psycho bitch, just like Terezi dumped you ‘cause you’re a psycho bitch. You’ve maimed and hurt all your friends up to this point, why would you assume anyone likes you.”

Things were getting tense now, bringing up her past mistakes is the last thing you do not want to do with Vriska. She yelled, “Hey, I scored with _your_ brother just last night, dumbass.“ “Oh right, I’m sure he _loved_ it,” Jade sarcastically quipped. Vriska went back on the defensive, “Yeah, he did, bitch.” “You sure he wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear,” she pointed out, “Afraid that you’ll stab him in his sleep. It’s not out of character for you.” “You know he loved it, you heard every second of it!”, this was Vriska’s last solid defense. But Jade was prepared, “All I’m saying is the bigger fool is the one who trusts the prankster’s word.“ “Fuck you, John loves me!”, yelled Vriska with a more desperate wobble in her voice. She waited for her comeback, but there was no hurry with Jade’s response, “Are you sure?”

That was the last straw, Vriska grabbed the table and flipped it over in rage, smashing everything that was on top. She bent her head down to avoid eye contact. Jade could see her tremble in anger, expecting her to lunge for her throat at any second. Instead, she heard a *DRIP* *DRIP* sound off the floor by Vriska’s feet. Her face was slowly dripping tears. Jade had struck a nerve. She was more surprised Vriska had a nerve to be struck. That kind of reaction could only come from someone who also had those fears all along. This wasn’t a play or a trick, Vriska’s was genuinely hurt, leaving Jade feeling like the real bully in this mess. Vriska hid behind her hair and walked around the three, leaving the kitchen. Her toast was scattered to the floor, unfinished.

 

**JADE = >Think about what you’ve done to ~~that psychotic bitch who totally deserved it~~ Vriska**

 

Half a day had gone by, and Jade wasn’t feeling any better. Sure, Vriska was being particularity nasty, but so was she. A hundred scenarios went through her head about what she could’ve done better. Jade was drowning in regret over what she’d said. Maybe she should apologize to her. (Ahh)

Maybe.. (Ahh)

Maybe… (Ahhhh)

What was that-OH GOD, IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN! Jade could hear the telltale sounds of a highly motivated Vriska slamming down on John’s dick, maybe even more exaggerated this time. Their door left wide open, Jade got a friendly reminder of last night. “I’ve been thinking about it, John, and there was something from the shower that I missed last night,” Jade heard her say from all the way across the meteor. “What’s that?”, she heard her brother respond. “It was the noises you made when I was blowing you,” explained Vriska, “It really got me off.”

John offered, “I could do more of that if you wanted.” “Would you?”, asked Vriska with what Jade imagined were big puppy-dog eyes. “Sure, I won’t hold anything back, just for you.” “Please dooo-aaaaahhhh,” she sang. Jade could hear all of John’s “efforts” harmonized with Vriska’s. “YES, YES,” Vriska moaned, “And describe it too. In vivid detail, describe how you’re feeling right now. Tell how much you want to cum.” “I want to feel every inch of your folds,” he enthusiastically belted, “I want to cum inside you so bad.” “Do it!”, she insisted. Vriska moaned between words, “Cause we..are gonna..do..it..ALL! NIGHT! LOOOOONNNNGGGGG!” He screamed, “I’M CUMMINNNNNGGGGG!”, as he had the most visceral orgasm of his life.

The come down was intense for the two of them. Jade was practically gagging on the other end of the call. An internal soup of lust and disgust. The feeling of how hot it was juxtaposed to the revile of it being her own brother’s voice. It drove her crazy. Before they could even finish the afterglow, she added, “And I meant it, too.” Vriska was speaking to both listening parties, “We aren’t stopping for even the sun.” “WHAT?!”, the siblings said in unison from other ends of the meteor. “I don’t care if we go at it for 36 hours straight, we keep going until we literally pass out or die. So get comfortable, you buck toothed, four-eyed know-it-all, cause so help me you aren’t getting any sleep tonight.” And she slammed her crotch right back down on his dick to elicit a mighty tenor from John. Jade was banging her head on the wall. There was nowhere to run from it. Nowhere to hide from it.

This was her sweet revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I extended the cast again. It was always my idea to open up to more characters. I just like writing dialogue between different people. Although, I admit, it was difficult to write a scene with 4 women if only because I couldn't use "she said, then she said, but she said." You'd have no idea who I was talking about if I wrote it like that. Sorry if the use of names were repetitious.
> 
> Also, I got into some major feelings this chapter. Vriska was always the most fun to write for because I like writing bold characters. Hoping to step away from that and flex my muscles with the bigger cast.
> 
> Remember to Rate and Review.


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